Random Synapses

There’s so much you can get on the Internet for free, particularily services. Web hosting, e-mail addresses, computer applications, e-zines… Few people seem to care how come all this stuff is free; as long as they don’t have to pay anything, it doesn’t matter. So, is this free stuff really free? Let’s go back in time and see how online services evolved.

Stage 1: Free services are scarce and limited, designed only to attract interested people — a marketing tool. Anything more than that, you’ve got to pay for it. As a paying customer, you get full access to all features. Example: AOL Internet access, you got 10 hours of Internet access but then you had to pay to even keep that AOL e-mail address.

Stage 2: Most services are only for paying customers, but a part of that revenue is directed to finance free access to other services. Many people use the company’s free services, and some of them become confident or want more and decide to pay for the extra benefits. Good business practice. Example: Juno e-mail and Internet access, free for basic service but subscription-based for extras.

Stage 3: Advertising-supported free services — you get something for free, but have to see some ads. Instead of you paying for the services, advertising companies are paying them to show you their commercial messages. You can pay to get rid of the ads. Example: HotPop e-mail service, or that “Free PC” initiative a few years ago.

This is where things start to go bad.

Stage 4: Advertising becomes more aggressive and is willing to pay more for better targeting potential customers. Service providers are either greedy, or just thinking they shouldn’t be stupid to refuse more money being offered for what seems to be innocent marketing techniques. Service users are being tracked to find out what they are using the Internet for, to better determine what kind of advertising topics would interest them. Some services are being invented just to have a reason to use these advertising tools and get money from advertisers — this is how adware and spyware works in many products. Example: Bonzi Buddy, the famous monkey who “helps” you find things interesting things online and keeps you entertained with jokes, but spies on your surfing habits to feed your preferences to advertisers, who in turn display their ads on your screen.

Is there a 5th stage? Sure there is. And if you thought spyware was bad, wait until you see this.

Stage 5: Collecting and using personal information for “marketing” purposes, at least. You get free access to some silly service, but you have to provide some sort of personal information such as your e-mail address or more, usually hidden under some form of registration. Sometimes there’s a Terms of Services page which tells you how that information will be used, other times no such thing exists. Even with the terms of service in place, you cannot be certain that the company will actually respect the limitations of that contractual relationship with you. Most of the time, your personal information is sold to marketers. Yes, your personal information is valuable and paid for; entire businesses are built over it. And you’re giving it away in order to get something “free” in exchange, sometimes good services but many times pure garbage. Who’s the sucker?

Think of the countless sites you have registered with, the hundreds of forms you have accurately filled in, and what you’ve got in return. Did you think spammers “accidentally” found your e-mail address? Or that you’re getting phone calls from companies you’ve never heard of, but who happened to be “partners” with some marketing company who, in turn, got your data from some site you registered with?

Please, don’t take my word for it. Do your own research, like Trent Lapinski researched the dirty stuff in the history of MySpace, the Net’s buzzword of the day. Also go through PCWorld’s “The 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time” and see other famous free offers tied to advertising and spyware.

The next time someone offers you something “free,” remember that nothing in this world is free. Someone is still paying for whatever you’re getting and is probably trying to make a profit from it, too. What you give them in exchange — your personal data or the permission to index your e-mails or monitor your activity — is what generates their revenue. Don’t sell yourself cheap, and beware of what Stage 6 will turn out to be.

Oh, and by the way, some people consider my contents to be free stuff to display on their own sites and generate revenue from ads. So this is a big and loud SCREW YOU to all of them.

Find new place, sign a lease. Notify current place’s owner. Pay bills, figure out which are being delayed with one or two months and how much you owe that will be billed after you leave. Cancel subscriptions. Think of what you need to move and what you need to throw away. Imagine what kind of boxes would suit your stuff and where you’d find boxes and packaging material, beg salesmen to save boxes for you instead of throwing them away. Stock up with scotch tape, industrial saranwrap, staples, garbage bags, rubber bands, wrapping paper, packaging rope, old newspapers, paper towels. Group your things together, pack them up, arrange in boxes. Label everything. Come up with creative packaging for the things whose original packaging you threw away long ago. Figure out what you still need to use until the last minute and leave it for the last box. Pile up filled boxes so you still have room to move around. Find good transportation for your stuff and maybe temporary storage facilities. Clean up after yourself, make sure everything is in order with the owner. Carry boxes down the stairs into the van, drive van to the new place, carry boxes up the stairs again. Open boxes to find clean clothes and toiletry, improvise sleeping place between boxes. Rearrange existing furniture. Measure rooms and available space, find out what else you need. Shop around for new furniture, transport it, assemble it. Unpack your things and put them in order. Try to remember the new location for everything you just brought in. Scrub the previous inhabitant’s mess. Identify problems that need to be fixed - leaking plumbing, bad electrical wiring, chipped wallpaint. Make list of things to repair and improve, buy supplies and fix everything to your needs and standards. Settle in, announce building administrator, introduce yourself to the neighbours. Identify the garbage bins you can use. Sign contract for cable TV, Internet, phone, whatever. Walk around to see what’s available in close proximity, where do you need to go for whatever you need to buy, what sort of public transportation is available, what public services are nearby and so on. Try to learn your new mailing address, announce it to your bank, your magazine and newspaper subscriptions, your mobile phone carrier. Adjust to new problems such as dogs barking at night, lumps in the mattress, bugs crawling in, burning food on the new gas stove. Learn that the bathroom is in the other direction when waking up at night. Get used to the new climate, rude people, dirty city, taxi drivers who take advantage of your fallen-out-of-the-sky attitude, your family for constantly reminding you that you moved farther away instead of closer. Look back and see that you have just wasted one or two months and half a million neurons with this process. And it’s not even the last time you’ll be doing it; next time there’ll be even more junk to pack, carry and unpack.

Moving sucks.